Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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