What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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