Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
