eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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