can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
