and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
