remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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