i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
