Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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