Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
