Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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