I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
