I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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