i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
