I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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