Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
