this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
