i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
