google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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