rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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