the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm at about main and main street
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize