He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
