Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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