You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
