you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i think i have two assholes
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
