Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
