I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
