just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
