when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize