I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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