I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
