I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
