I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
