This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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