Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
