I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
