im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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