You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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