he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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