it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
either way he was missing a nipple.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
