i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
