My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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