Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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