She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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