We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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