I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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