Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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