so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
