I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
