you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
