If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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