he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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