is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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