We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
