The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
