You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
