Your mouth is God's brothel.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
