I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize