I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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