I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
