You're completely useless in the revolution.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
