brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
